Conflicts in the relationship can often put a great strain on your strength, energy and resources. When the most significant person in your life, at the same time, is the person who hurts you the most, it can be hard to focus on what once brought you together.
The vast majority of relationships have originally arisen out of a desire to be together. Based on a need, on both sides, to feel alive, loved and valued.
But everyday life, your own reality and the conditions of the relationship can change; it can end up feeling like a major challenge finding space for oneself as well as space for each other. It may feel as if life has completely taken you by surprise and that you are now suddenly finding yourself in a time and space where the problems have become unmanageable.
The difficult challenges of a romantic relationship is when our natural need for love and recognition seems threatened.
When we humans fear rejection and experience not being seen and met by our partner, we respond with completely natural survival mechanisms that simply end up creating even greater distance!
Instead of meeting each other, listening and showing interest, we then push each other away in our attempts to protect ourselves from the pain that occurs when we feel wrong.
We then consequently fall into a negative pattern, which only gets harder and harder to get out of.
It is of great importance for the well-being and survival of the two of you individually as well as the relationship, that the secure connection between you and your partner is re-established.
The sessions are held at my premises in either London Bridge, Shoredith or wapping and in
our first session, you’ll get an idea of how I work and my personal energy and style. When meeting each other I’ll also get a clearer idea of what you would like to have a look at. Here I would like to ask you to tell a little about yourself and your background each, and about the problems you are struggling with in the relationship. The first session is primarily an enlightening and clarifying conversation, where we simultaneously coordinate expectations of each other and a future course.
Then you decide if you want to work in depth with your relationship, through a longer process with me.
In a process, you get the opportunity to see what comes into play between you when the conflicts arise. You will have time to integrate and understand the connection between your feelings and your actions. And you get the opportunity to train and test new communication skills, with my guidance and support along the way.
If you want cohesion and presence back in your relationship, you must be willing to spend time and energy on it. To achieve lasting changes, you must expect between 8 - 12 sessions (some clients start with 6 times, and make status thereafter). In case of trauma in one or both of you, you may have to add extra sessions, in order for me to address those with you.
In return, you will get to know yourself and each other much better. You will be able to break old and inappropriate patterns; and through this you will be able to rediscover love and strengthen your relationship in earnest.
Regardless of the cause of the conflicts in your relationship, you are welcome to contact me to hear how I with couple therapy can help you further in your relationship.